the jemini weekly: fall fantasy edition
Where Pop Culture, Cosmos, and Chaos Collide
Hey you!!
Long time no talk! Sorry there wasn’t a new post last week, I was booked and busy gal. But that means I have LOTS to share this week: from hiking through through a magical gorge with over 19 waterfalls and stunning fall foliage, to apple picking, pumpkin decorating, and candle painting — i’ve been living my coziest fall fantasy. And I’m here to spill alllll the tea (or in this case, spill all the hot apple cider). Let’s dive in…
JEM IRL
My bestie/older cousin Michelle and I share a love for fall, especially Upstate New York fall, and neither of us have been back home for Fall for at least 3 years now. So, we decided last month that we were going to plan a little trip home and soak up as much fall magic as we could. Originally, we were just going to go for maybe four days. But, because I’m working from home for another couple weeks, I decided to extend my trip a little longer.
Thursday, Oct 10th
After working for the first few hours of the day, I met Michelle at LAX to catch a flight home to Upstate New York where me and our family are from. She lives in Utah (specifically Salt Lake City, shoutout my Mormon heritage lol), and works for JetBlue. Soooo… she comes through with standby tickets, which are so cheap… and basically the only way I can actually afford to travel/go home. Downside is: you only make the flight if there’s room. So it quickly becomes anxiety inducing.
But we didn’t have any issues. In fact, my cousin listed us for Mint, JetBlue’s version of first class, and so I got my introduction to flying first. I feel like I can never go back now (I write as I sit in my economy seat on my return flight to LAX). I cannot understate how amazing it is to lay fully flat, get served an almost absurd amount of flight food and have flight attendants who are overly nice to you. ESPECIALLY on a long flight, like from LAX to JFK. My only complaint was the older gentleman directly to my left who continuously released noxious gasses from his anus throughout the majority of the flight. But alas, what can you do? If I’m going to smell farts on a plane, at least its in first class. Also quick side note, but it also could not have been worse than that time when I sat in front of a woman who had a little dog under my seat who began shitting diarrhea during the flight. So you know, silver lining.
We landed, had a little layover… and I immediately had the craziest allergy attack. I physically could not stop sneezing for the entire one hour layover. I forgot to pack allergy medicine, but also refuse to pay $14 for a single dose of allergy medicine from an airport shop. So I chose to suffer. After a short delay for our second leg, I started to recover and we began to board (no Mint this time, but flight is like 50 minutes so whatever). Just as I step foot on the plane… BOOM… allergy attack part two. I could notttt control myself, and it was so awkward. There was a line of people ahead of me and a line of people behind me… with no overhead space to be found for my bag. So I’m literally wheezing, making sure to cover my mouth every time I sneeze while trying to find a spot for my bag so I don’t hold up the line. I got so over stimulated I almost had a melt down lol. That was one of the more miserable flights of myself, because once the sneezing stopped, my nose became a faucet and I’ll I had to use as Kleenex were cheap airplane napkins. I might as well have used sandpaper and by the end of the flight, my nostrils were raw. So… some high highs and some low lows for that travel experience — very on brand.
We landed a little after minute, picked up the rental car and drove home. Also… forgot to mention, but my mom didn’t know we were coming. We wanted to surprise her, so we got my dad and little brother Jacob in on it (my mom is hard to surprise, I’m convinced she’s a psychic, a witch or both). My dad covered the ring camera with tape as we snuck in, and we carried our shoes with us to my old bedroom downstairs. We knocked out almost immediately.
Friday, Oct 11th
The next morning we woke up as my mom left for work. I quickly showered, got ready, and we headed over to my moms office. It was really cute, I wasn’t sure if we had actually pulled it off and she had some suspicion, but from her reaction when I walked in, I think we actually surprised her! She ended up taking the rest of the day off, and thus begun my perfect fall fantasy.
We grabbed a little brunch at a local diner, I ordered hot chocolate and pumpkin pancakes and met my little brothers girl friend in person for the first time. My favorite part of the meal was when she told a story about how her crazy roommate (cis female) hooked up with a guy off Grindr and then got super upset when he told her he was pretty much fully gay, in front of my Mormon family. But first of all… what did you expect my love, this isn’t Christian Mingle, of course he was gay.
Next we headed to a little apple farm that sells fresh donuts, apple cider, maple syrup, and other fall treats. I got a fresh apple fritter and a bottle of cider…. and I will dream of both that fritter and that cider until I can have it again.
Then, we stopped by my ‘Auntie’ Comella’s house (do you call your parent’s best friends your aunts and uncles or no, because that is what this is) and surprised her, and sat outside on her porch and soaked in some fall sun by her place on the lake. It was giving the vibes I needed. I love Auntie Comella, but my mom is a certified yapper and we had things 👏🏼 to 👏🏼 do 👏🏼.
Eventually we were able to pull my mom away, said our goodbyes and headed to a local farm that sold pumpkins of alll shapes and sizes for literally the most insanely cheap prices. I forgot my audience and told my mom “I’m really into the more subversive, sort of avant garde looking pumpkins as decor right now" … she did not know WHAT I was going on about. They also had little GOATS and we got to feed them and there was a little guy, ugh… by this point I was like fall overloaded I genuinely wanted to cry I was so happy. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect fall outing for my first day home. We picked out our pumpkins, I got like 3 for under $10 — and headed home. My cousin Andrew was coming out from his house by a different lake to see us, but I had to squeeze a nap in. When my mom woke up from the couch, the pizza had arrived, Andrew had been there for a minute, and it was time to paint pumpkins. I pulled myself together as best I could and sat down at the table. I tried to be as social as possible, but if you’ve never seen me right after waking up… you’d think I hated both you and the world itself. And honestly for the first ten minutes I’m awake, you’d probably be right. Anyway, eventually I became a person again and socialized, pumpkins turned out cute, my cousin headed home — and before heading to bed, we did face masks and I introduced my family to perhaps one of the greatest films of modern cinema… Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar (oh just shut up and trust me, and if you don’t/didn’t like this movie I genuinely don’t know what to say to you because I’m frightened by that.)
Saturday, Oct 12th
On Saturday, I was woken up at an ungodly hour because I consented to carpooling with my parents alongside my cousin to Wakins-Glen, about an hour and a half south-east of my hometown. My parents had volunteered to help a friend nearby… build a barn/shed? Idk, some yee-haw shit for sure… and my cousin and I had already planned on going to the gorge/exploring the area while home. So it worked out great. But once again, it was too early, and I was miserable at first (I mean keep in mind it was around 5-6am in California where my circadian rhythm is set to). But we dropped my parents off, and headed to the gorge. On the way there, I decided I wanted to put my cousin onto Ethel Cain (naturally), so I played Sun Bleached Flies… I could tell she was liking it, and when it ended, she asked me to play it again. And then she asked me to download it to her Apple Music (I bullied her for not having Spotify), and she proceeded to listen to Sun Bleached Flies on repeat during our entire hour and a half hike through the gorge. First of all, mission accomplished, second of all, mood.
I mean the hike was stunning, the waterfalls, the falling leaves… it was perfection truly. We made our way through the entire gorge, and then took the shuttle back to the top entrance, because you know damn well we weren’t doing it all the way in reverse. We got to the car and I started the Preacher’s Daughter album from the beginning and explained the lore for each song to my cousin as we headed to the only gas station we saw on our way to the gorge to pick up drinks/snacks before sitting by the lake. But as we were about to get there, we remembered the shuttle driver recommended we get donuts and cider from a local apple farm. So I put it in my GPS and it said like 20 minutes, perfect, no worries. Until we realized it took us in a circle and the farm was… yes, directly next to the gorge, no more than 5 minute away from where we started. But you know what? I got to introduce my cousin to my favorite artist and I think I genuinely made a little fan out of her, so worked for me.
At the farm, we got hot apple cider (it was chilly by then), and warm powdered donuts and sat on a bench to enjoy. We put our donuts back in the car, grabbed a basked and picked just enough apples to enjoy throughout the next couple days, but it gave the vibes it needed to give. We headed back to pay, I grabbed another cup of hot cider for the lake, and we headed out.
My cousin packed lawn chairs and books so we could sit and relax by the lake, but we ended up just having a really great heart to heart about life, family, hopes, dreams, failures. Surrounded by this gorgeous lake with views of the yellow orange and red foliage, it was something I really really needed. These were the two most perfect fall days I could’ve imagined, and exactly what I was looking for through this trip.
It got really chilly so we headed back to collect my parents, I helped their friend feed the goats, and we headed home and my dad started a fire in the pit in our backyard. My cousin, my little brother and I sat around just catching up and giggling. Then Jacob brought out leftover sparklers from the Fourth down and lit a few of those. I through one into the first which was burning a little low to see what it would look like. All of a sudden: pop, pop, crackle, crackle. I thought my sparkler exploded, I flew back in my chair, sprawled on the ground. My little brother just laughed and laughed… revealing he through a couple firecrackers into the fire without us noticing. First of all… what if we died…. but second of all… kinda funny. My cousin and I, who shared my old bedroom while visiting, watched an old Mormon comedy/musical we watched growing up called Sons of Provo about a mormon boy band called Ever Clean. Honestly, it’s still hilarious but if you didn't grow up Mormon, it just won’t hit the same. But let me give you a little preview of some lyrics from the songs:
We'll be here
Climbin' like a mountaineer
'til the end of time that's clear
And we would never drink a beer.- Everclean
I was born in the church just like my Daddy was, yo,
I'm Pioneer stock, my Grandpa crossed the plains in the snow!
I got my Eagle Scout at 12 with some assistance from my Mom
I was home before 9:30 when I went to the prom.
I love to sit in my pew, and praise the Lord with a hymn,
I'm hyper-active, yo, got the keys to the church gym.I'm the diddly wack-mack Mormon daddy.
Yo, my peeps all be conformin' cause it's cool to be a Mormon.- Diddly Wack-Mack Mormon Daddy.
If ya cut off me off drivin', spill your coke upon my shoes,
There's just no tellin' what my mouth might say.
I'll break out a string of non-profanities to make your ears curl,
In my religiously edited way.Dang, fetch, oh, my heck,
What the holy scrud?
H-e- double hockey sticks,
That's frickin', flippin' crud.- Dang, Fetch, Oh, My Heck
… Shakespeare who?
Sunday, Oct 13th
Sunday, I finally got to sleep in just a bit before my cousin and I drove out to Greece (no not the country, we just have a town named Greece near us, which is also where the only mall close by is) to go to Ulta so we could buy my mom an Ole Henrickson lip peptide lol. Then we stopped at a few boutiques in Brockport, my hometown, one of which had a cute sweater we bought my mom, and then went back home to my house to give my mom her little ‘just because’ gifts.
Then I headed out to my literal twin sister Madison’s apartment in Rochester so we could finally reconnect our neurons. I see her only a few weeks of the year, but every time it’s like zero time has passed… that’s how you know that’s family. I honestly can’t for the life of me remember what we did, but I know her BF Khari (love him) who she also lives with didn’t know I was home, and it was his birthday the next day, so I got to surprise him and I think we mostly just hung out and watched some stuff on TV until it was late and I drove back home.
Monday, Oct 14th
Sunday, my bestie boo Maranda had invited my whole family to brunch, so we met at this spot she recommended in Greece (again, town, not country). Brunch was pretty good, I think I got croissant pancakes? But whatever I got, I left STUFFED. Maranda drove me home so we got to catch up for a bit which was lovely as always, she’s a huge comfort friend for me, great listener, super calming presence, really sweet and has such a contagious laugh. She dropped me off at home and my cousin, my mom and I watched Hunt for the Wilderpeople together (phenomenal, highly recommend / gave it 4.5 stars on Letterboxd). After, I stopped at Dollar General to pick up some extra plates and napkins for Khari’s birthday celebration (the Bills were playing) and headed over to help set up for the party. I don’t care even remotely about sports, so I mostly kiki’d with my girls all night
Tuesday, Oct 15th
The next day, Madison picked me up in the afternoon and we got brunch at the local diner and thendid a goodwill run. I got a pair of carhartt pants for $9, and a Karl Lagerfeld sweater for $6, so I’d say it was a win. We also decided we were going to paint candles with candles, so we thrifted some candles to use at goodwill and then went down the street to Dollar Tree and got a few more options. We drove out to Mad’s apartment and spent the next, like, four hours painting these candles while watching TV — it was so fun and while it was really tough at first, we ended up getting a hang of it. After Khari got home from work, we played Uno for a bit and then I headed home.
Wednesday, Oct 16th
I was back to work on Wednesday, so spend most of the day working — but I had dinner plans with Maranda, Madison and our other friend Alyssa for dinner. Maranda and Alyssa had come to visit me back in Sept in LA, but I know it had been a minute since Mad had seen them. So it was nice to catch up all together.
Thursday, Oct 17th
Worked until the afternoon, and over lunch I drove out to Madison’s in Rochester and worked from her apartment for the rest of the day and just kiki’d
Friday, Oct 18th
Again, worked until the afternoon and then drove to Madison’s and finished work there. Then Dippy, her BF Austin and my girlie E all linked up to go see The Substance. I had seen it already but I went alone and wanted everyone else to experience it. It was really funny seeing their reactions, I don’t think most of them liked it immediately but then it grew on them when I had unpacked with them later that weekend.
Saturday, Oct 19th
Met Mad and E at Goodwill again for a round 2 around noon, then I drove out to Mads to kill some time before I got dinner with my little brother and his GF. When I’m home, Jacob (my little brother) and I usually go to a place called Nerdvana where there are screens you can play video games at while you wait for your food/eat/after you eat. After, I headed back to Mads and she, Dippy, E and I had a chill night in with some wine, games, best reality TV moments YouTube compilations and watching music videos (lol).
Sunday, Oct 20th
Sunday was family day — I accidentally slept in until 2:30PM, and then spent the rest of the day watching movies with my Mom (we watched Woman of the Hour on Netflix, and Marrowbone if you were curious).
Monday, Oct 21st
I worked all day and then had to fly back to LA that evening. Luckily I made the flight (but barely… flying standby is so stressful lol)
//
And that concludes my trip home! It was soooo nice to spend some of the Fall season back home, which is like the only time of year I enjoy the weather and it’s so beautiful. It was literally everything I needed and more.
Wrapping this up on Nov 1st — and not much has happened since I’ve come back to LA aside from work, but I did have a halloween party that was chaotic but fun. I was a cunty alien, AKA the transgender alien Donald Trump warned you about, AKA depending on the lighting which made me look green, Elphaba? I literally painted my full body blue thrice to practice for this look, and thank god I did because the first few times were a flop. The party was super fun, a lot of laughs with my current friends, some reunions/reconciliations with old friends from college, lots of alcohol, a little bit of drama, a lot of conversations with straight men I didn’t know (if you wanted some alienussy just say that) — everything that a good halloween party needs! It was one of those nights that was like, “oh righttttt, THIS is why I live in LA.” I really hope for more nights like that one.
I’m not going to do a movie/music/pop culture corner this week because this is already super long and super LATE (sorry again). But I promise we’ll get back in the swing of things soon.
KISSES,
Jem